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Monday, July 6, 2009



Bio-Attack is yet another- and a quite literal system shock from an era that had little if any considerations if the audience will be able to reach the - probably non-existent - end of the game. As Satan of Saturn does, Taito's 1983 effort delivers endless fun - hah! - and related, good old quality frustration of myriad subtle alterations, inviting you to establish the highest score possible in a game environment that offers tints of an inventive variety.

Yet, this is no joyride my friend, as this here proud retroshock remains wise enough to know that no lifeform with physical characteristics is likely to survive the mayhem unleashed herein. Think you can handle this Bio-Attack? I think you can. Have a go and let me invent a sinister smile behind your shoulder secretly, silently. You see - you should be able to deliver 100.000 in Bio-Attack with me and my loathsome mate standing behind your back, as these are the exact traits that define the Champion. If you plan to BE one: you MUST BE able to handle the pressure. Can't see what I am getting at? I'm getting at the delicate braincells, as does this here baby via amazing determination and ruthless efficiency. Enter the -


Enjoy and Read on!

The game unfolds in a human nervous system and you must eradicate the viruses present in this environment. You control - take your pick - an average spaceship or an average tiny nanobot. OK, let's get liberal here: you control a tiny nanobot spaceship. Bio-Attack brings numerous focal traits to the table, all of which make it one of the more memorable deliveries, and, without a doubt: one of the hardest games ever to entertain consensus.

First and foremost, the projectile of your nanobot spaceship covers the tremendous width of one pixel while traveling away from your shuttle, thus you need quality precision aiming - redundancy? - to bring proper punishment - oxymoron? - upon the viruses. The game uses rather smart behavior patterns to control the meanies, though the other chunk of the challenge is the natural- and necessary result of the sheer number they will harass the system by. Most of the entities are able to shoot projectiles at you, alas!, a good thing that you can Robin Hood those shots to be the definite nanobot in your imagination - AND to cause all the ladies in the vicinity to fall at your feet in honest awe and endless appreciation. One of the effects is not guaranteed, though.

Bio-Attack invites you on a journey taking place between vital organs of the human nervous system, connected by the casual veins you will travel through to administer conservative cleansing all over the place. Though a little map is rendered at the right corner of the screen, it seems to me that no logical progress is happening on it while you are completing levels. You will reach the various spots at numerous times, so it seems safe enough to assume that the developers did not expect the players to be able to reach the center of the mind - so why bother modeling it, right? And what does the center of the mind have to do with the condition of the nervous system? Hah! A lot, even a LUT!

Once you have traveled through the consecutive vein, the game will present a sub-mission to you. These sequences are quite hardcore and do deliver elements forged of clever inventiveness, requiring an extremely sharp level of skills. Sk1ll2, even. One of these sub-missions have an affection for All Things Packman and it invites you to clear a maze area of the viruses before the oxygen runs out. This is not yet enough: you need to have a sufficient amount of oxygen (time) to be able to withdraw from the area, as well. Sometimes the walls of the maze will fade away, hindering your progress considerably in case you have failed to make a mental image of the walls. Make a mental image of a Lamborghini and it will manifest, too! That's no secret.

The other two sub-missions are the sequences in which Bio-Attack punishes you rather strictly and elegantly. These sequences are similar to love affairs, as they are taking place in the heart. That was an attempt at offering a joke and I don't mind resonating this as otherwise you may have missed the attempt altogether.

In the first massive minigame, you need to eliminate a mastermind virus, naturally represented by a tiny ball. What makes it a mastermind virus? Easy: first, it is coated by an immense amount of spatial defense which you must eliminate to reach the mastermind virus. Needles to say that the damned thing itself demands a couple of shots to finally withdraw. Secondly, it has very effective bodyguards that are equally good at mocking you- and at kicking your sitorgan around.

The mockery part: you can paralyze the bodyguard creatures for a short period of time with a well placed shot. Or, even with a not-too-well placed shot. The point is to hit them, you feel me? And here is the catch: in case you hit a paralyzed bodyguard creature - then the thing will revive and will continue to harass you. These entities will do their best - which is relatively much, trust me - to organize themselves into effective formations in front of the defense system of the mastermind virus, making your life a pitiful remembrance-attempt sewn of silent, intense suffering. I can relate, baby. And surely, we can talk about it.

So, here is what you will initially do: you will shoot around like crazy, hoping to deconstruct the defense system of the mastermind virus. But you will inevitably hit the bodyguards while doing this and your consecutive shots will revive them if you fail to embed sane TACTICS into your assaults. Strategical movement, precise aiming, shots with meaning behind them - hmmm - and the readiness to improvise all become essential elements in order to survive these sessions.

The other sub-mission is similar in its nature, only this time you are to take out green sinister mastermind anuses. The first mastermind anus comes solo, - self-confidence par excellence - but the consecutive ones will come in pairs. These blasphemous abominations of inconceivable proportions will throw hideous shots of green BEEP! at you and their bodyguards are rather swift and aggressive, coming to you in combined patterns that will give quality HOOOLLLYSHIT! time to all who show honest interest. See the tiny growths at the sides of the organ? Those are actual gameplay elements you can stumble into, more specifically: they are deliberately placed there so there are things in the game environment that you COULD stumble into. These will prevent you from moving horizontally in case the tail of your nanobot shapeship < - admire the typo please - is stuck between them. You can escape from the grip of course, but it is a very effective method to force you to be in touch - BGAH! - with your environment during the session.

Bio-Attack shines considerably with its immensely demanding sub-missions, while it delivers an acceptable form of orthodox-style scroll-action with not too much variety to it whenever you find yourself roaming in the veins. The sub-missions do remain memorable challenges, resonating retro hardcore beauty on decibels no casual fan dares to face without a casual nuclear shelter shielding her/him from it.

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1 comment:

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